A Korean divorcee has confessed that she thought about killing herself because of the social stigma against divorcees in Korea.
She posted on a forum explaining that she has been divorced for just over a year and is continuously bullied by her colleagues and friends about it.
“I’m having it so hard right now. My company calls me a ‘divorcee’ even when I’m around. I can’t meet any of my close friends. How can anyone live on enduring this, when I can’t?” — Divorcee
She explained that her husband changed after they got married, never paying attention to her. Gradually their feelings faded and they just fought all the time, even physically, so the divorce was a good thing – but society didn’t think so.
“No matter how much people say that nowadays, getting divorced is no big deal, it’s definitely not like that. I just become self-conscious everywhere I go. People who don’t know anything judge me and say how there’s a problem with me.” — Divorcee
Unable to deal with other people’s stares and the name of “divorcee” weighing heavily on her, she stopped going to work and thought about killing herself.
The only reason she didn’t was because of her mother.
“Thinking about my mom crying because of me makes me unable to do it. No matter how you look at it, my mom is the most pitiful one here. She has to hear comments like ‘your daughter is a divorcee'”…” — Divorcee
But despite all this, she doesn’t regret getting a divorce and netizens are cheering her on.
- “I’m an ahjumma who’s almost 60 years old. Rather than living as enemies with someone that doesn’t fit you, it’s hundreds and thousands of times better to part at an earlier stage and live by yourself. Life is not about living for others. The people who call you a divorcee and who badmouth about you probably don’t have anyone close to them who’s divorced. If I see that my daughter looks more unhappy with her in-laws than if she was alone, I would tell her to get a divorce.”
- “I think that your surroundings are the issue. I filed for divorce 15 years ago but neither the people at my work nor my friends say anything about it. Back then, there was only one person at my job who asked me ‘then, when did you get a divorce?’ but everyone else was like ‘why would people ask you these things?’. If your work is giving you a hard time, it’s good that you quit.”
- “Don’t you feel your own worth? You will feel even more self-worth after getting a divorce so make sure to show it to your family. Do you think that your mom will cry after seeing this? Please be more confident.”
There is a clear difference in the social pressure in Asian countries compared to America and some other western countries, where divorcees often have “just divorced!” parties to celebrate their new-found freedom.